troub|ed

Sometimes, things just do not go your way. You thought that you're being a nice guy by helping others achieve their intended goals, you get others to help you, yet your friends do not understand the restrictions you have.

You're not in power to change anything. Maybe I was, but did I choose that? No...I let it 顺其自然. In the end, you voice out your unhappiness 'cos u felt that I could've intervened and prevented it from happening. And it pissed you off 'cos I said I could'nt do much.

Maybe it was oversight on my part and I'm sorry.

But we've gotta learn to accept it! Meet new people? Learn new things?

I'm never the best person to talk about meeting new people. Oh com'on. I'm still wishing that I had kept my friends together from pri sch to sec sch to JC. But somehow I feel myself drifting...not knowing them.

Uni friends? I dunno but some whom I had viewed as friends became...unfriendly? Or some people do not treat me as much of a friend as others.

To me, I wish my friends were always here. To get someone to know you and talk to. I know I'm more reserved in my inner self and hide my feelings and intentions, but that's because I did not want too many people to know.

Or maybe I'm wishing that someone would view me differently. Accept me for who I am?

I wish I've more time. For friends (no time to meet up?). For family (yea I've neglected them to a very very bad point). For myself (no time to think...-sigh-).

What do I wish to achieve?
Why do I keep doing things which I hope others will appreciate?
Do they even appreciate?
What do I want to do?
Or maybe I'm just looking for a nod of the head, a smile, a sign that what I've done is appreciated.
Ramblings. Indeed. (Now I seldom do that?)
Just wondering why I'm treated differently.
But I need an outlet. And I was looking for it yesterday night. That's why, the question flew. But I wasn't thinking much. Like a shot in the dark.

And the more I think, the more bad I feel about not making all happy. Or can I make everyone around me happy? -sighs- Sometimes won't you get tired of giving others happiness and deep inside you've to sacrifice to do so for them?

Maybe to them they will feel that, "Oh SY has done this for me...wow, that's good! Now I'm having my fun!". But do they ever think of the things one has to do to help them achieve their fun?

So dun say I never tried. I'm trying to resolve the issue. Give you your state of fun|happiness|friendship.

Someone tell me what I'm doing is right/wrong. Someone...

Anyway. Gonna do tag making for O-Week and an Appreciation Dinner for OHANA. A long day...again.

Current Mood: Confused

Current Music: Five - Closer To You