randomness.

Ugh...CoNfUsEd...

Sighs. Can't things be in black and white? Or maybe grey is the colour of the world...

Am tired of holding on to some friendships. Really feel so sucky sometimes.

Sighs.

2 month anniversary...

And how time flies. A turn of the eye and 2 months (exactly) have passed.

What a way to 'celebrate' the 2 month anniversary in Eindhoven by staying at home on a lonely Sunday morning. Hurhur. With the sounds of MSN in the background, and busy reading some of the research articles for a write-up.

Time sure flies. September ended...the end of October is beckoning. 2 more months, or so I believe.

After all, I do not seem to have exams in January. I very much hope so. Even though I have stuff to hand up after January, I will still go back to SG for my IA first.

Pursuing my dream...it's a dream after all, and the first part of the dream is already in motion. Now...what about the 2nd part, the part on getting an overseas IA?

Sadly...it seems to have hit a rough stop. Or rather, I've not been successful. Guess I'll have to return to the tiny red dot to do it...

-sighs-

But Europe's been fun, at least the travelling part, the learning of new things, viewing of the years of history and seemingly going back into the past to learn what my history teacher had taught.

I love travelling, and I still will continue to travel if I've got the chance.

Early morning on a new week...it's Monday! Nah...shall not have Monday blues. Hong Keat and Felix are arriving today so that they can go Eastern Europe tomorrow. Damn lucky guys, esp with them having a autumn break, while I do not have any. Sighs. Wished I could join them...

Current Mood: Pensive

:)

I'm a happy happy boy -whee-
Words can't describe my joy, I guess :p
U made my day..Thanks a lot! :)

Current Mood: Happy

True?

"Each human being was given two possibilities: action and contemplation.
Both lead to the same place."
(Paulo Coelho, Like the Flowing River)


True...time for action? Or time for contemplation?





I need to sleep early...I guess.

Quote of the day

“I can only conclude that, worse than hunger or thirst, worse than being unemployed, unhappy in love or defeated and in despair, far worse than any or all of those things, is feeling that no one, absolutely no one, cares about us.”

(Paulo Coelho, Like the Flowing River)

How true...

To all of my friends out there, I still care, despite the distance ;)

happy!

Ur comment really made my day...really. :) Forgive me for not telling you in person ):

你那幺爱她

Memories...Hmms...

Did you ever regret not saying that to someone??? The lyrics are powerful...

---

Going up to Amsterdam for the weekend with Felix and Hong Keat. Will not be around! :)

Current Music: 李圣杰 - 你那幺爱她

Nearing...

June asked me whether I'm stressed...

Somehow, I'm unsure whether I am. Maybe? Because I need to settle my SEP stuff (e.g. flight, accomodations, mapping) and also handle the upcoming Rovers Camp.

Things seem ok so far...kinda slow to take off and somehow it just gets tiring to go to school everyday, travelling a long 1-hour journey to school (and another hour back). For those who stay in the east, I doubt I can (or should) complain to u guys cos u travel an even longer journey to school! Gosh.

Just hoping that all goes well. Wondering if I should get a year-long flexi ticket or just a 6 months ticket since my SEP is not confirmed.

Ideas, anyone?

Sometimes things come your way when you least expect it to.

if you had a chance to correct what you did wrong in life, would you take it?

Just finished a good read~ haaz...it's Mitch Albom's "for one more day". It's so wistful and nostalgic...About family, about love, about children, about life.

I'd recommend to you guys...you've just gotta read it! I think my love for books is returning...woohoo! Not the text books, but novels like these. Intruging, and yet they strike a chord within you.

"Kids want you to hurt the way they hurt."
- "for one more day", Mitch Albom

How true.

Anyway, today's weather was great! Woke up feeling nua, yet I'm feeling great 'cos the haze had miraculously disappeared! (So was it due to MAF that it appeared? I wonder...)

Had buffet lunch with my parents and bro, and his gf too! Japanese, Western and Local buffet in one! First time that I've eaten till I could hardly take in any more. Geez...But it was fun, after all, lunching with parents = no need to waste money haha.

Spent the day studying. It kinda sucks to have your weekend (or Sunday to be exact) devoted to studying. Geez. It's just NOT right. But what to do...we're students, after all.

2 more months to end of term! Time flies...

Current Mood: Pensive

decided.

And yea. I decided already.

Thanks Patrick, Lionel, Chin Khiong for listening to me. Thanks Mummy and Daddy...Thanks Greg and those who supported...At least, I could talk it out. :)

Hope it'll turn out well? Haha...we shall see..

Strong showing today tho. Hmmz...

顺其自然吧...

Current Mood: Pensive

Current Music: Moulin Rouge - Come What May

woke up too early!

Hmm yea. And I woke up too early for school 'cos Mum thought I'm late for wake up time when I was supposed to just wake up at 0730 and leave home by 0845hrs...in the end I woke up at 0630hrs o_O"

Now I'm just thinking of stuff...what to do in this coming year?

Realised that I'm not that prepared for this new semester after all. -sighs- Was it due to the
Committments in O-Week, which meant that you had no time to take a step back and think what you're willing and ready to do? It's not that I'm unwilling to commit, but I'm unsure if I do so, would I be up to it.

Questions run through my head. What should I do now? Choices lie in front of me, just that the paths do not intersect.


Work 'n' Travel? And CK told me, you can still work and travel when you're out in the working life! But I was thinking, is it so? Won't your leave be so precious that you would use it for short getaway trips instead of all on one trip? It's a tough one. Yr2 or Yr4?

SEP?
NOC? Out of the question for me for I'm not entrepreneurship type of person...


IA? Or VIP? I'll have to make a tough decision on each. Irregardless of the outcome, I know yr3's not the year to play in FOCs or gg overseas...sighs


Committees? Rovers? Engin Club? I'd admit that I'm interested in joining the Mountaineering club, but was it because I wanted to try something so similar to Rovers but not Rovers? I'm unsure of myself in this choice. Did talk to some ppl on re-running, but feeling myself jaded. Doing the same things again? Fun, definitely, but
Maybe it's time to move on? Part of me...well...I still wan the best out of Rovers...

This is the toughest decision I've to make thus far.

And yea, 3 CN mods ain't a joke. I believe they're a killer. *lol* 1 lesson into them and I still think they're difficult. Sighs.

Time to work hard? Or play hard?

Current Mood: Pensive

Current Music: F.I.R. - Tian Tian Ye Ye

undecided

yea. still undecide on what to do. sighs.

too many choices?

i'll miss what i'm doing. all choices lay flat in front of me. but their paths do not cross. once you choose a path, it's all the way, or none at all.

should i take the first step?

or should i just back away from all?

decisions, decisions.

-sigh-

weird thoughts flowing through...

Just had a convo.

And thoughts just ran in my mind, without any direction, without any flow.

What I thought of doing, vanished.

But at least you confessed. That, I am pleased.

But what do you want me to do?

Had a thought flashing past me, full of hatred and anger. But what for? I'm the one in the wrong, right? Just tell me. Is there a need to do that? Or was it just because it was coincidence?

I'm confused. Really.

Hmmz..

What's wrong with me?

Just laid out about 4 runs this week, and I'm disappointed with myself. Lousy runs. Even my trail running at Macritchie on Wed morning pretty much sucked. I could not chiong up the slopes as before, was it because of an increase in weight?

Or was it simply a lack of training?

Someone commented to me recently that I'm too skinny. Sighz. I'm confused. Should I gain upper-body mass?

I'm just super confused now. Haiz. Never mind, CNY period = Put on weight period?

Time to get more runs under my belt.

Thanks to those who ran with me over this week. But maybe, I'm just not up to it anymore. I wish ppl changed perceptions of me....REALLY. I'm not fast or whatever...

Current Mood: Confused

Current Music: S.H.E. - Hao Ren You Hao Bao

Hurt

Would you understand how hurt I was on reading what you had posted? Of things which you think I had never considered before I did my decisions.

Of saying that I'm wasting money.
Of saying that I'm not capable of prioritising my duties, my roles.
Of not listening to my P.O.V.
Of thinking that you fully understand me, but I doubt you really do, it seems.

And the hurt is made stronger with the fact that I had always thought that you were a good friend, a good pal, and I had considered you close.

Yet, to hear that from you, directly, certainly stunned me.

No doubt your observations might be right, but what about your deductions from the observations?

And yes, I dun deserve to get the project. We all knew it from the start. I just wanted to try my luck and hopefully be in charge of this important event. But nah, I wasn't given, so my priorities shall shift. Still, I'll be concerned about the elected people and give them my support, but life is not just about it.

As much as I feel passionate about the things I'm doing, now I'm in a sudden blur.

Why can others do it and I can't? Sure, I respect and understand and truly appreciate your concern, but, did you ever give a thought or asked me why I had wanted to do them?

Was it a choice of mine to want to go for back-to-back events? No. But I had considered the physical and mental stress I would have, and I had talked to fellow ICs and friends regarding it.

I'm not out there to compete. I wanted to have fun.

I feel lost.

I feel looked down.

And above it all, I felt hurt by your comments.

Where's the support and trust to me? It does not mean that you think I can't do it, means I can't. I'll want to prove it to you, all the more. Yes, I've a strong-willed character, which might be bad (or good, whichever). But did you attempt to hear my side of the story? No. Not you. Sheesh.

Sigh, another lousy day from school. Life sucks.

Now I'm re-contemplating. Maybe it's time to just end it all.

Current Mood: Confused

Serenity of home

Man, I really like being at home... Peace and quiet, and spending time with parents and paying a visit to my granny sure is helpful.

Especially for the older folk, it's really great to see them smile when they see you enter their house.

It's been a while since I visited my granny, with all the school and stuff. Not really a great excuse or whatever, but I guess I need to keep up with the visits. Though, she's not my paternal grandparent, but nonetheless, I felt closer to her than my paternal side's granny.

And in many ways more than one.

And guess what? My mother, who had often nagged at me for going to Malaysia so often within this 1 month holiday, was horrified to hear my granny supporting me. Haha. I think I was quite surprised too.

Now preparing for my upcoming Datuk-Angsi trip, which would be pretty cool. A private trek, 12 people, 2 mountains, 3 days 2 nights. Sounds Survivor-ish. Haha. Can't wait for tomorrow to come.

Currently reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, simply impressive, especially the ambigrams. I'm really amazed at the work. Totally awesome.

Current Mood: Happy