Results out?

Yea...results are out, brooding over it but nothing will help. Hopefully a trip and a movie would help kick it outta the system. I just cannot accept that no matter how hard I work for it I still cannot get the results I want.

Not that I have very high expectations.

Or maybe, I should expect it at A+ levels so that if it fails, at least I can give myself a pat on the shoulder and say "Well Done!"?

Helped that Tze helped me look at it, but initially wanted my friend to help me take a look at it 'cos her bday's just around the corner (Luck rubbing off me? Haha). But oh wells, she's not free...not at this moment.

Anyway, onto more sad stuff.

Today went for my 1-star kayaking course at ECP Big Splash, Paddle Culture. Initially the information was that the course was in the morning, so I happily took a cab down from Anqi's place (where Esther, Weili, Jinyao, Zhihao, Mark, Justin and me ton-ned the previous nite) to ECP, only to be informed that the entire schedule's changed.

My lesson is now 1pm - 7pm, instead of 8am - 2pm.

I was stunned. I had wasted $12 of cab fare, slept so little, woke up groggy, and barely had fun with my frens (who played throughout the night!) whilst I took my sleep on the lovable couch.

So I was now in a dilemnia. To go home or not? About 4 hours to spare, with 45 mins trip either way. That makes it difficult. Initially wanted to ask if I could seek refuge at my friend's chalet at ECP, but reckoned she had not woken up yet. So I did not bother to call, but left an SMS, hoping she would reply (should she be awake), and walked the long lonely journey from Big Splash to ECP Macs.

Had my breakfast, but no reply. Decided that enough was enough, and headed home.

Re-arranged with Andy on collection of my bag in preparation for the job which Geok gave me. It should come in handy, and I was back home in time to collect.

But I barely had any time to rest, before I had to take my lunch and zoom off to ECP, AGAIN.

And this time round, the bus broke down. Now I'm gonna be so-so-so late.

I was really pissed, really felt like ranting.

And I did. I sms-ed 2 people, but received reply from one immediately, the other...well, I should say that I'm expecting her to be still sleeping. Or maybe I'm just too noisy...

But my feelings were about to explode like a volcano. It was pathetic. I had not only wasted time, I had wasted sleep and money. Things which are irreplaceable. Not to mention, a slight quarrel with my mum before I left the house. So all in all, the bus break-down just added fuel to the burgeoning fire.

Called the other friend when she replied, but realised that why should I rant to her? She's just a friend, and she's busy, and she's having fun now. Why should I dump my unhappiness on someone else?

I've never really told people how I usually feel about things. Yet I wished I had. When I do tell others how I feel, I felt worse after that instead. I wished I had not placed my worries and feelings to others, 'cos they would probably be unable to help much.

And the conversation was rather ____. Nothing much to say. After ranting it out with her, I felt better, yet I felt that I might have talked to a slightly unresponsive her. Or maybe, it's just the dual personality she has. Nothing much to be concerned about? But I was, at that moment in time.

So I just thought about it after I put down the phone.

I was basically sms-ing too much, expecting replies, but I knew I didn't deserve them. Not yet, maybe. Or just a taste of my own medicine? Maybe. Too much time on my hands now.

Back to the day...I managed to get on another 31, and reached the place (late), but the programme went on without a hitch. Was doing with this group of Innova JC ODAC people.

And the day ended with me meeting up with parents for dinner. So hungry. No delivery of food by someone. Haha. (just a joke)

Current Mood: Sad

Current Music: Daniel Powter - Bad Day