I always feel that there are cases of deja vu occuring for me. A dream becomes reality. But what goes beyond the dream, I'm unable to know.
But this sense of deja vu seems to have dwindled, seems to have lost its sense of purpose, for people come and go. Like or Love? I do not know.
To have a Seraph like an Angel, it's impossible to happen. There was already a difference in ranks, for a Seraph sits higher up the Council of Celestial Beings than the Angel, which is a mere lowly being.
There was once a time when the Seraph tried asking the Angel out for a simple event. The Seraph was instantly rejected, with a reason as simple as it seemed. Well, it seemed. The Seraph was hurt when the Angel gave a false reply, and he was unsettled on learning that. Why? He often wondered. He knew that the answer lay somewhere. Was it the ranks between them? Was it the difference in ideologies? Was it just a one-sided liking? What made the matters worse was the side-talk by the other beings, who made fun of him.
The Seraph can not yet decide, and the days tick by. Soon, it's time to bid goodbye, and he decides that he would not like to do so, and he would disappear, for he should not have done what he had. He had known the consequences of such actions, and it would be the talk of the other celestial beings, those closer to the Angel especially.
Yet, he trudges on, with mixed emotions of the Angel, who is bound for another destination, far away from him. What should the Seraph do? Two obvious routes lay to him. The first, to carry on the chasing, in the faint hope of getting her attention; the other is to drift away from the 'fantasy' world and to get on with life.
His current analysis is to let the Angel go, wishing the Angel bliss and happiness, whilst he goes on the long journey into life, looking out for the soul-mate whom he could share joy and happiness, sadness and tears. It wasn't really a tough decision actually, considering that he did not know the Angel's feelings towards him. Maybe it was a one-sided like/love. Blind Love, Fantasy, whatever. The Cancerian trait of loving undeservingly and giving much and asking little in return usually bears no fruit. At the back of the mind, he knows that he cannot break up the inseperable union of another bond, being a third party is the last thing he would every do.
Current Music: The Daydream - Love Is...
The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac. It can range from the timid, dull, shy and withdrawn to the most brilliant, and famous Cancerians are to be found through the whole range of human activity. It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family. `Nest like' is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a showcase to impress visitors.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love. They are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations. They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal. They are appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact. Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average. If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would be as a leader in a youth organization.
In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector. Both the Cancerian man and woman love unreservedly, giving much and asking little in return - in fact, one of the most important lessons they have to learn is how to receive gracefully. They are too easily influenced by those they love and admire, and swayed by the emotion of the moment. They are also loyal friends, the negative side of their faithfulness being clannishness, the narrow patriotism of "my country right or wrong"; and closing ranks in suspicion and coldness toward outsiders.
Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.
The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered. They can be tactless and difficult yet, because they are normally ambitious, they will curry favor by floating with majority opinions, outlooks and fashions of the day. As a result they often change their opinions and loyalties and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability. They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy.
Their abilities fit the Cancerian for a wide range of occupations. As they are interested in what people are thinking and able to judge what they can safely be told, they can be good journalists, writers or politicians, though in this last capacity they are more likely to remain in the background rather than attain prominent positions of power. They may, indeed, change their party affiliations. They can serve in other departments of public affairs, especially those which involve looking after others, for example in any kind of service from welfare and nursing to catering - their own love of comfort and good living makes the Cancerian an excellent chef or housekeeper. They sometimes have a penchant for trade or business and are often successful as a captain of industry. This is because they are excellent organizers with a good sense of value and economy which they may combine with a flair for inventiveness and originality. The romantic side of their natures make them enjoy grubbing about in places where exciting discoveries may be made (old stamp collections in attics, etc.), and if they can do this professionally as a secondhand dealer or specialist in antiques, they will be happy. More common occupations which suit some subjects of Cancer are real estate broker, gardener and sailor.
Physically they are average to below average in height, with a fleshy body and short legs in comparison with the rest of them. Their hair is usually brown, their faces round, their complexions pale, their foreheads prominent, their eyes small and blue or gray in color, their noses short, perhaps upturned, and their mouths full. They sometimes walk clumsily.
...to Cobra Challenge.
Haha. The event I kenna arrowed to do. Hmm will *hope* to finish as fast as possible, with my team mates. Gambatte!
Oh yea, on another note, pretty busy the next week also, UPD, NIQCC, Unit Anniversary. At least after that, it's time to clear my long-awaited leave...hopefully, go to Sepang for some F1 action...
And AC Milan won! w00h00! =D
Now, feeling the sh|t still. arghz. Hope I get better =.=
Current Mood: 
Energetic
Current Music: Zhou Jie Lun - Qi Li Xiang
Today *ahem..actually should be yesterday by time I blog this lor* our unit organised the Unit Family Day (finally o.O") at Sentosa.
Same idea and concept with that of my Armt Coy Outing, probably 'cos they asked how I did my entire game and requested for a lotta help in other forms also...so... *rolls eyes*
Interesting concept of using hp to SMS for the clue/answer, so actually a lot of pre-preparation need to be done, but there is no need for station ICs. So definitely, lotsa recce to be done (now I understand lolx). Maybe this is the upgrade for the version I used during my Coy Outing (which was done hurriedly).
Beach volleyball was fun, and I ain't good, but trying to learn...Sorta like badminton, just that it hurts cos I've got to use my hands/arms for contact.. -.-' And I not 'meaty' so *ahem*.
And what infuriated me today was that people who smoked actually just flicked the half-lighted cig onto the sand and I stepped on it! And now my right foot has a painful blister(?) which hurts when I walk. -.-'
And another thing was that on my way home after a cuppa root beer with Shiang Han & Xiao Qiang, I got stepped REAL HARD on my right foot. F**K that dude. Somemore he was wearing those hard-soled shoes and my feet were unprotected 'cos I wore flip-flops -.-' I stared back at him and waited for an apology, but he was busy laughing with his friends. Damn bastard. This type of ppl should just be arrested and thrown into jail on the spot. Ha. I'm just pissed 'cos he was in the wrong and no apology/concern was shown to the vicitm. Moreover, I was walking a dist behind him and his bunch of cronies to prevent him from stepping on me, but still he did. Not to mention, he was big-sized.
Still, it was more beach volleyball and other sight-seeing done :) But sad to say, couldnt stay for too long, as I had dinner with my NPCC mates back @ Chinese High, otherwise known as Hwa Chong Institution now. It was great to meet up with the NPCC dudes again, most of us now in NS in the different camps and units spread across the island (and some 'overseas'). Plus it was a time to reunite with the other seniors and update ourselves on the latest happenings within the unit...The Adjutant just changed also. lol. Ppl present, Alvin, Zhixing, Joseph, Laiyi, Henry, Jinshu, Renjian, Chengming, James. Not a bad turn-out indeed.
After that, sat around at some pub near Bt Timah area and talked, a chill-out session in fact. Still managed to catch the last bus home (haha. Almost slept. :p)
Tml (or today...o.O), gotta wake up, cos need to visit Grace's and Huijun's houses. And not forgetting they are coming over to mine. lol. :)
Current Mood: 
Exhausted
Current Music: Ayumi Hamasaki - Hope Or Pain
Valentine's Day over in a flash. I'm still wondering what I was doing that day, back in office. Still confused, but at least, I think I made the right choice before-hand. I doubt I'm ready for any relationship, and I just feel that I dun make a good bf to any ladies out there also...haha. Why? 'Cos I think when I got work (which I am interested in), I will put my heart and soul in it, yet I'll slowly neglect the other half of my life.
Was talking to Shijia on MSN that day on v-day evening...about how her bf is not communicating/SMSing her regularly. I guess, when guys are busy, they may not have the time to do even the simple SMS? I'm not too sure...but I sure know how a focused guy would behave. He wont do things which would side-track him, and he will definitely perform well in his given job.
And well, then it comes to the question of what is the difference between love and like...I guess I'm still blur. As ever. Liking someone and loving someone, somehow just feels different for me. It's like I've a special liking for someone, yet I'm unable to be sure whether I really am in love, or I am just liking her only. So what is love? :
Just penning down thoughts in my mind here...that's what a blog's for, right? :)
And here's a nice song for all those couples out there!...post V-day! ^_^
Current Mood: 
In The Mood For Love...lolx
Current Music: Bread - Everything I Own
Today must have been the most tiring day of my life sia...lolx. Just returned from Eups jie's 21st birthday function/buffet dinner :) Thanks a lot jiejie~! Though I guess I din know almost 90% of the people there...well, still managed to AT LEAST chat up with some of the guys from her RVHS class. Most of the people there, well, are her sec sch mates, and they know each other very well, with the exception of me :|
21 years old le...I suddenly feel old. As what some people say, it's the time when you get your 'yao shi' (key)...'cos 21 is the precursor to a lotta stuff...take a look at the lawbook and ya know what I mean :p
Anyway, this year would have a lotta people turning 21! Which leaves me to rue what to actually do when it comes to my turn... -.- I dun even know if I will ever hold it...I mean, I just feel...Detached. Bored. Whatever...
I think I gonna turn in now...tml swimming @ Tiffany's house :) Whee...Just rediscovered my penchant for swimming...But gimme the land run anytime :p It feels better than running in the pool haha...
Current Mood: 
Sleepy
Current Music: Jay Chou - San Nian Er Ban
Yea. That's the condition of my legs now. After that long ****ing walk we did today. (Okay...no vulgarities here..lolx...Keeping my site clean and green to all :p)
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After the lim kopi session with the forumites yesterday night @ Suntec, reached home @ around 12.30pm, gladly with the help of one of them who offered to give me a lift (even though it wasnt THAT on the way...^_^) First time going out with the rest of the forumites in an outing anyway, and it's sorta like a meet-the-crappers session...haha. I not really a crapper, and I dun really socialise that EASILY. Well, that's my character -shrugz- but they still managed to make me feel @ home :)
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So I slept @ 1 plus after the shower, and barely snoozing for 5 hours I woke up again to put on my No.4 for the stupid recce conducted by the organisers of Cobra Challenge. Yea...ZEE challenge. ZEE challenge which thou shalt not talk about or discuss openly on such public domain, should I be prosecuted or charged or wadsoever...thou shalt only state that whoever who came out with the idea of us sending a team should go and take a look at the route, thou shalt enforce the *idea* of having the person who suggested thou to do the race be in the competitive team! :evil:
-End of Crap- XD
Anyway, met up with Yong Ee at camp at 7.30am to move out to MHC in my dad's car for the recce. Actually not many ICs present lar...and saw Matthew there too! Yeap. The person who's famed for his running since NJC days :)
The recce kicked off with us turning wrongly into the Nee Soon Range (when we ain't supposed to) and making us going left and right without even the use of the map. Actually, I think only the frontmen (ADF) were doing the scouting with the use of waypoints, whilst the rest of us followed in a procession. My feel from the start was that they were intending to use the Bicycle Trail found in Upper Seletar Reservoir, otherwise known as Woodcutter's Trail or Seletar Trail :) Been there for NAVEX in OCS mah...and holland-ed b4. argh.
And this time round, we did make a few *ahem* wrong turns. Geez. Not to mention today was the fourth day of CNY...was thinking that I could be out there sleeping on my nice comfy bed at home or getting more hongpaos by visiting my friends' place...haix. sad case indeed -.-'
So in the end, it was walk and walk and walk along the trail, holland-ing every now and then with the turns, and we managed to walk on and hit the correct trail (after going one ROUND). lolx. I wonder whether they did a good recce in the first place.
In the end, it was a hot smelly day, and ended up with a really aching pair of legs due to the upslopes we needed to conquer. Not to forget, we had 5T to help carry us from point to point. Haha.
Later....to Eups jie's bday party...Ahhh....not in condition sia. Now bely bely blurz.. *_*
Current Mood: 
Hot sia!
Current Music: Jay Chou - Ta De Jie Mao
WooHoo! It's CNY time again! Lotsa goodies and other stuff to makan...haha...but..*sigh*
With training coming up, I was thinking, "Damn...I must wait another year to enjoy the goodies??? Geez.."
I threw caution to the wind, and started to munch on the delightful festive goodies :p No-one can stop me. Bleh.
With a new "Chinese" year, I guess it's time to start to really ensure that I set out to achieve the targets I've given myself at the turn of 2005...
Was back at my sec school on Monday afternoon, and intended to meet up with all my teachers within a short 1 hour prior to me meeting with my jie Euphie for a dinner after her work :) Alas, most were not present, and I only met up with Mr Lim, my chemistry teacher in Sec 3 & 4. Was talking to him regarding my university choices and what is in store for me...I guess, after the short chat, I was more puzzled whether I had made a right decision...In taking up chemical engineering (which I was interested in, but had more PHYSICS than chemistry, which is my fav subject) over a Chemistry/Maths combo... Chemistry and Maths would do fine for me...but I ain't thinking of the teaching path...not now at least. More likely, I would want to work in MNCs or government-linked companies dealing with chemical stuff...biochemical sounds good too! :)
I realised that by talking to teachers, I really ran late (15 mins.. argh). So much so that I let Eups wait for me x.x" Haiz. Jie...dun kill me wor... :p (It was only after leaving then I realised Ms Pek was involved in today's CNY celebrations as the OS...haha...tio arrow again :p Likely to pay a visit sometime next week I guess ^_^) Eups has definitely been more or less the same...haha. Actually intended to bring her to a Mexican fare restaurant, but ended up... o.O" So instead headed to good 'ol Marche. Heh. Din know the time which the restaurant started business...besides, it WAS a little too early for dinner (5.30pm??). And yeap, discussion on her attachment here followed.
After she left for home, walked around in hope of looking for CNY clothes, but none caught my eye (sianz-.-) Met up with my other SOL buddies for a chit-chat a.k.a. talk-cock session @ Raffles Cafe Cartel. Good to see all of them, plus, all of us are to ORD soon, and clearing ORD leave/off le. (Except for me, where my extension hangs in the balance. Why am I extending? You wont want to know. I guess, I just sorta got used to the life there, but well, when ppl arrow me to do things, I want to see thru it and not to leave it hanging half-way. It's to fulfill a given task fully which I see accomplishment and a sense of pride. Then again, other factors come into play in this highly 'political' unit. -.-)
Then today, was back in NJC with my classmates from 01S09, Junhong, Peiwen, Ruhui, Grace, Genevieve. Good thing was, the side-gate was unguarded and open :) Mwhaha. I thought I was a sure late-comer at 9.40am, but others were later o.O' Met up with quite a no. of teachers, Mrs Chiew, Mr Teck, Ms Maureen Ng, Mrs Soh and Mrs Marianne Tan. Catching up with teachers has always been great. I guess, when I need second opinions of anything, they could give their advice due to their wealth of knowledge and experience. And by going back school, I just got to know some info:
(1) Mrs Soh is about to retire by the end of the year. All the best to her :)
(2) Mr Teck is now an Administration and Security Officer. Woah. Sounds totally 'cool'.
(3) Ms Ng is much more cheerful than what she was when we were in JC1. I guess she got over that nightmarish period. Acting more like a kid now :p
(4) Mrs Tan is now in charge of the Integrated Programme (IP) in NJC! Woah! Congrats to her. And yeap, I feel that it's time for her to spread her experience in handling students from the management perspective. Have always admired her as a teacher when I was a student. Being a GP teacher does help, I suppose ;)
Oooh...Now it's officially CNY le...Gong Xi Fa Cai, Xing Nian Kuai Le! Angpaos, here I come! w00t!
Current Mood: 
CNY Mood
Current Music: Ou De Yang - Yi Ren Yi Ban
Man...couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the results for SAFISAM, SAF Inter-Formation Small Arms Meet. Our formation, Logistics, had posted excellent results in the 3 disciplines of M16/SAR21, SAW and Pistol to clinched the 3rd placing OVERALL! Woohoo! For a team which was written off at the start, and having problems with units not wanting to 'help' in the form of loaning their personnel to me for shooting, I guess this was a good respite from all those bickering and hair-tearing sessions I had in trying to fit a team to even ENTER the competition.
Nicely done guys...well done :) Although I wasn't there for some of the practices (MSR training), I'm glad you guys have done well. It's my pleasure to work with you ppl in dealing those who looked down on us in the beginning a big blow to where it HURTS the most!
Also, we managed to scalp a major upset by clinching the SAW champions, since we were so close to 9DIV throughout the entire competition..running neck to neck till the last match. Furthermore, we have our SAW Individual Champion also! lolx...As CPT Don said...super tyco team sia...when compared to our practice results... :p
Seems like 2 consecutive weeks of good results... :)
Current Mood: Hyper...In the Mood sia...
Current Music: Marc Korn - Summer Of Love